I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
