I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
