I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
