If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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