im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
