I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
