How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
