i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
