Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
