I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
