His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
