Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
