That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
