He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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