the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
