Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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