I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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