I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
