so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm sobbing to NWA
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
