Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
