I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
