She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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