who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
