I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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