No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
