'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize