we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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