3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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