People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
