im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
