I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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