Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
