what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
