Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
