Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
