ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
