we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
All the doctor said was why
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize