He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
