Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
