I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My vagina is very pro this idea
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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