He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize