my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
