Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
