So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She is in my trunk
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize