tequila makes me forget i have legs
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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