i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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