Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
