google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
