gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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