I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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