well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
