Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
