Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
