Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
