Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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