I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
