i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
