I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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