He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Are we still banned from the library?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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