Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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