bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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