Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
